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| kekkyoku ima made atashi o uragitte kita no wa atashi hijou ga tsukisasaru oka de kono me wa sameta dake orokasa ni shibararenai you ni haiagatta tsumori de ite kono tsume wa kirei na mama mitasu no mitasu no jibun o mitasu no “sou suru koto de te ga hanasenai” to seiippai waratte misete morosa o abaku no karada ga wareru you na shunkan o matsu no matsu no matsu no dareka no nanika ga todome o sasu no o matteiru atashi “sonna mono ja kikanai” to hohoendeiru keredo igokochi no warusa ni yotte umaku tatenaide iru no koko ga doko datte onaji sore ga atashi nara onaji mitasu no mitasu no fuan o mitasu no “kowakute ashita sae chigiresou” to seiippai waratte misete itami ni mo naranai hodo no akumu demo atashi wa ryouude o hirogete hirogete chanto mitasu no mitasu no jibun o mitasu no “sou suru koto de te ga hanasenai” to seiippai waratte misete morosa o abaku no karada ga wareru you na shunkan o matsu no matsu no matsu no |
I am, after all, the one who’s been betraying my own self up until now On the hill where cold-heartedness sticks into me, my eyes merely woke up I’d intended to climb up it to keep from being bound by stupidity With these clean nails I’ll satisfy, I’ll satisfy, I’ll satisfy myself With “In doing so, I can’t let go of your hands,” I smile at you with all my might I’ll wait, I’ll wait for that moment where my body will seem to be splitting apart, fragility exposed I’ll wait I am waiting for something from someone to stick the finishing blow to me With “Things like that won’t work” although I’m smiling Getting drunk off the badness of comfort, I can’t stand up properly All the same no matter where I am, all the same if this is me I’ll satisfy, I’ll satisfy, I’ll satisfy my anxiety With “Seems even a scary tomorrow could be torn to pieces,” I smile at you with all my might Even in a nightmare that cannot even pain me I’ll spread, spread out both arms Just right I’ll satisfy, I’ll satisfy, I’ll satisfy myself With “In doing so, I can’t let go of your hands,” I smile at you with all my might I’ll wait, I’ll wait for that moment where my body will seem to be splitting apart, fragility exposed I’ll wait |
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© Sarah/Frecklegirl 2005